#Avoiding Clingy Behavior

Give them a hug for me🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️ #relationship #avoidance #avoidant #couples #couple #girlfriend #boyfriend #dating #datinglife #datingtip #datingtipsformen #datingtipsforwomen #myman #gf #bf

🫂 . . . Credits: @troybeckerinsta . . . #lovelanguage #toxictraits #toxic #selfisolation #avoidance #physicaltouch #qualitytime #lovelanguages

I used to feel embarrassed by how clingy I got in relationships. I’d obsess over every little shift in energy. Panic if a text took too long. Overanalyze everything I said. And then feel ashamed for caring so much. What I didn’t realize back then was that clinginess wasn’t the problem, it was the symptom. I didn’t feel safe. I didn’t trust I was loved unless I could see it, feel it, get constant proof. And instead of shaming myself for needing closeness, I had to learn how to hold that need with care. Here are 10 things I did to help myself feel less clingy and anxious in love: 1. I made plans with friends and followed through even if my partner was free 2. I blocked out time just for me or stuff I like doing alone and didn’t cancel on myself 3. I focused on learning new things that had nothing to do with my relationship 4. I treated myself when I was alone instead of waiting for someone else to 5. I got more honest about what I needed instead of hoping they’d guess 6. I figured out healthier ways to deal with big emotions instead of dumping them on the relationship 7. I started naming what I needed instead of staying vague or hoping it’d magically work out 8. I made requests instead of picking fights or getting passive-aggressive 9. I stopped seeing my clinginess as shameful and started getting curious about what was underneath it 10. I was intentional about staying emotionally close with people other than my partner so he didn’t become the sole source of my emotional connection You don’t have to chase love to keep it. Comment SECURE and I’ll DM you the Guide to Anxious Attachment I wish I had years ago. If you resonate with this you’ll probably connect with the rest of my content too. Follow @aliciacollins.lpc to learn more from a therapist who considers herself a recovering anxiously attached human. 🫶 #therapistsofinstagram #anxiousattachment #therapy #anxiety #attachmentstyles #attachmenttheory #dating #datinganxiety

If you keep checking your phone to see if they’ve read your message or been online, you’re not “obsessed” you’re anxious and looking for safety and resurrance. When you’re anxiously attached, your brain treats read receipts and online status like emotional lifelines. Seen = relief. Not seen = panic. Your body is just trying to answer one question over and over again: “Am I still okay? Am I still chosen? Are they going to abandon me?” The problem is, that checking doesn’t calm you for long. It keeps you stuck in a loop where your sense of safety depends on what they’re doing, instead of how grounded you feel within yourself. What actually helps is learning to pause the urge, regulate your nervous system, and remind yourself that someone being busy or quiet doesn’t equal rejection. That’s where real security starts... not in watching the screen, but in building trust with yourself. This is exactly what my Peace Over Panic workbook helps you do; break anxious checking habits, calm the overthinking, and feel secure even when you don’t have instant reassurance. ❤️ Comment ONLINE and I’ll send you the link to the PDF version of my workbook #anxiousattachment #relationshipanxiety #attachmentstyles #anxiousattachmentstyle #abandommentwound

4. Real conversations are avoided at all costs. The moment things get vulnerable or uncomfortable, they shut down or withdraw. 5. You’re left feeling like it’s always your fault. You question yourself, your worth, your expectations — even though all you wanted was basic emotional safety. You’re not asking for too much. You’re just dealing with someone who refuses to take responsibility, and wants you to carry the emotional burden alone. If this cycle feels familiar, you’re not crazy and you’re not “too much.” I lived in this exact dynamic for years — constantly explaining my feelings, questioning myself, and carrying the emotional weight of two people. The truth I had to learn the hard way was this: You can’t fix a relationship where only one person is doing the emotional work. That’s why I created worbook+scripts “The Healing Bundle”— to help you stop second-guessing yourself and finally break the anxious-avoidant cycle. Inside you’ll learn: ✔ How to recognize manipulation vs real communication ✔ What to say when they deflect or shut down ✔ How to stop taking responsibility for their avoidance ✔ How to regulate your anxiety when conflict happens ✔ How to move from anxious survival → secure boundaries Comment “HEALING” and I’ll send you the link or tap the link in my bio.

IGNORING MY CLINGY BOYFRIEND *He Cried*

Anxious and avoidant… two people caught in the same storm, but seeking shelter in opposite directions. #relationships #mindset

If you keep checking your phone to see if they’ve read your message or been online, you’re not “obsessed” you’re anxious and looking for safety and resurrance. When you’re anxiously attached, your brain treats read receipts and online status like emotional lifelines. Seen = relief. Not seen = panic. Your body is just trying to answer one question over and over again: “Am I still okay? Am I still chosen?” The problem is, that checking doesn’t calm you for long. It keeps you stuck in a loop where your sense of safety depends on what they’re doing, instead of how grounded you feel within yourself. What actually helps is learning to pause the urge, regulate your nervous system, and remind yourself that someone being busy or quiet doesn’t equal rejection. That’s where real security starts… not in watching the screen, but in building trust with yourself. This is exactly what my Peace Over Panic workbook helps you do; break anxious checking habits, calm the overthinking, and feel secure even when you don’t have instant reassurance. 🫶🏻 Comment ONLINE and I’ll send you the link to the PDF version of my workbook #anxiousattachment #relationshipanxiety #attachmentstyles #anxiousattachmentstyle #abandommentwound

According to psychology, people who get uncomfortable or awkward when parents try to hug them or say, I love you, are unknowingly using a coping mechanism called avoidant attachment...... If this resonates with you our ebook is even deeper Get your copy on our page.. 📕Grab Now 👇🏻👇🏻👇🏻 https://linktr.ee/darktactics

When they’re into you… until they’re not! #avoidantattachment For more guidance on Decoding Avoidance, check the resources in the link in my bio! WAYS TO WORK WITH ME: • 1:1 Individual Sessions- Attachment Healing, Trauma Transformation + Relationship Support • 2:1 Couples Coaching- 50 or 90 minute transformation containers for the devoted lovers DM or 🔗 for details! #avoidantattachmentstyle #anxiousattachment #anxiousattachmentstyle #ghosting #datingtips #relationshiptips #situationships #datinglife #datinginyour30s #toxicrelationship #toxicrelationships #avoidant #emotionallyunavailable

Avoiding each other after a fight might feel like the safest way out. You tell yourself “I just need space.” “I do not want to make it worse.” “Let them come to me.” “I will talk once I calm down.” But here is what really happens 👇 Maybe you walk into the bedroom and they stay in the living room. You hear them moving around but neither of you says a word. Both of you start doing this quiet dance… avoiding eye contact, waiting for the other person to speak first, pretending everything is normal while everything inside you feels heavy. And then the story begins in your mind. “They do not care.” “If I mattered they would come to me.” “I always have to fix things.” “They do not understand me at all.” The fight ends. The distance begins. Most couples do not realise that the real damage happens here. Not in the argument but in the hours after it, when both people are hurting and silently hoping the other person will come closer. Avoidance does not calm your nervous system. It confuses it. You start assuming, overthinking, replaying every word. You take small behaviours personally & a small conflict suddenly feels like emotional abandonment. Relationships weaken here. Not because love is gone but because disconnection becomes a habit. Here is what helps instead : •Say “I am not okay right now but I do not want distance between us.” This one line prevents hours of spiraling. •Say “I need twenty minutes to breathe and reflect but I will come back to you.” It builds safety immediately. •Sit in the same room even if you are quiet. Presence helps •Repair before the day ends. Even a simple “I am here I care and we will figure it out” changes everything. •Stop making silence mean something it does not. Your partner withdrawing usually means they are overwhelmed. When couples replace avoidance with small moments of connection it starts becoming moments of understanding. Relationships do not break because people fight. They break when people disconnect and do not know how to return to each other. If you are struggling to communicate with your partner & your relationship feels strained, feel free to send a DM @ivanamukherjeeray to book your appointment