#Parallel Parenting

Some of you are trying to co-parent with someone who hates you more than they love their own children. And that’s where the frustration is coming from. Because co-parenting requires cooperation. Communication. Compromise. Shared goals for the kids. High-conflict people don’t operate like that. They argue. They sabotage. They use information against you. They create chaos just to stay in control. So the solution isn’t to try harder. The solution is to stop co-parenting and switch to parallel parenting. Parallel parenting means: • You focus on your house • They focus on their house • You stop over-sharing information • You stop trying to match rules between homes • You stop worrying about their opinion of your parenting • You stop negotiating your time Your parenting time becomes your lane. Your rules. Your structure. Your expectations. You don’t engage in unnecessary conversations. You don’t explain your parenting decisions. You don’t chase cooperation that isn’t coming. Because in high-conflict situations, less contact often creates more peace for everyone involved — including the kids. Inside my masterclass I break down strategies like this so you stop wasting energy trying to fix the other parent and start focusing on what you can actually control. Comment “green” and I’ll send you the details. Know better. Do better. #highconflictcoparenting #parallelparenting #divorcedmomlife #custodystrategy #coparentingboundaries

You cannot co-parent with a narcissist. And the sooner you accept that, the sooner you can protect yourself and your kids. After 23 years in family law and 5 years on the bench, I’ve seen hundreds of good parents get destroyed trying to reason with an unreasonable ex. They think if they’re just nice enough, flexible enough, understanding enough - their ex will finally cooperate. It never happens. Here’s what does work: Parallel parenting. You’re not partners. You’re not co-parents. You operate in parallel - you parent your way during your time, they parent their way during theirs. The ONLY thing you coordinate is logistics. Communicate ONLY in writing. ONLY about the kids. ONLY when absolutely necessary. Use the BIFF method: Brief, Informative, Friendly, Firm. Two sentences max. Just the facts. Neutral tone. State what’s happening, don’t ask permission. And here’s the part nobody tells you: Document EVERYTHING. Every message. Every exchange. Every violation. Because in court, your word against theirs is a coin flip. But a pattern of documented behavior? That’s evidence that wins cases. Stop trying to fix them. Stop trying to make them reasonable. Your job isn’t to change your ex. Your job is to protect your kids and protect yourself from being dragged into their chaos. Parallel parenting isn’t Plan B. For high-conflict situations, it’s the ONLY plan that works. I’ve seen it save custody cases and restore sanity to parents who were drowning in drama. If you’re dealing with a narcissistic ex, drop the fantasy of co-parenting. Start parallel parenting today. #ParallelParenting #CoParenting #HighConflictDivorce #NarcissisticEx CustodyBattle FamilyLaw

Parallel Parenting is a necessity when you’re engaged in high conflict. When it is practiced it enables parents to refocus on their children and put their needs first over the constant chaos that the counter parent inflicts on them. You do not have to take on the drama of the other parent. The truth is that you can’t save your child’s perception of who they will one day know of their other parent, so shift and refocus all energy on yours. In a post next week I’m going to give you guidance on how to simple set up your Parellel Parenting Plan….. 🤍

If every interaction feels like resistance… Hostility… “F you” energy… It’s time to stop calling it co-parenting. Because co-parenting requires two people who are willing to cooperate. And if they’re not? You’re not co-parenting… You’re absorbing chaos. At some point, you have to make a decision: Am I going to keep over-explaining, over-giving, and over-accommodating… or am I going to protect my peace? Parallel parenting is not giving up. It’s stepping into control. It’s choosing boundaries over burnout. It’s choosing structure over stress. It’s choosing self-respect over people-pleasing. And here’s the part most parents miss… When you stop tolerating the chaos, your kids learn they don’t have to either. They learn: Respect matters. Boundaries matter. And love should never feel like constant conflict. You’re not being difficult. You’re being done. If you’re ready to stop the cycle and start protecting your peace, I’ll show you how to actually do it in real life. Drop “lighthouse” if you’re ready to learn how to handle a high-conflict co-parent the right way. Know better. Do better. #parallelparenting #highconflictcoparent #boundariesoverchaos #divorcemomlife #protectyourpeace

Parallel CoParenting explained to kids! I’m helping coparents improve all aspects of their life from coparenting, communication, finance, and even dating after divorce! ✅ Set firm boundaries ✅ Focus on what you can control ✅ Use smart communication strategies that work for YOUR situation ✅ Let go of guilt and judgment ✅ Learn things that can increase your account to remove the financial stress 💬 Drop “Ready” below if this aligns with what you are dealing with and want to learn how to let these things go! Let’s make CoParenting Socially the top community for inconsistent coparenting growth and support! ❤️ #onthisday #coparentingsocially #coparents #coparenting #coparent #parallelparenting

Co-parenting with someone who has narcissistic traits isn’t really “co-parenting”—it’s often “control-parenting.” In this clip, Carl Knickerbocker, author of The Parallel Parenting Solution, breaks down how narcissists see parenting as an all-or-nothing game: they win, you lose. They expect praise, obedience, and zero resistance to their narrative. That’s why recognizing these toxic patterns matters—and why strategies like parallel parenting are essential for your peace and your child’s well-being. As a Divorce Coach and Co-Parenting Specialist, I’ve created courses, toolkits, and offer one-on-one coaching to help moms protect themselves and their kids. Click the link in my bio for support, tools, and next steps. You don’t have to do this alone. #coparentingwithanarcissist #parallelparenting #divorcecoach #coparentinghelp #narcissisticabuse #highconflictcustody #divorcemom #divorcesupport

The short answer? You don’t. Not in the traditional sense. Real co-parenting requires mutual respect, communication, and putting the kids first. A narcissist is incapable of that. They’ll use the kids as pawns, turn every conversation into conflict, and make everything about control. So what DO you do? You shift to parallel parenting. Here’s what that looks like: → Minimize direct communication (use apps like OurFamilyWizard or email only) → Keep conversations strictly about the kids—no personal topics → Stop trying to reason with them or get them to “see your side” → Document EVERYTHING → Enforce boundaries like your sanity depends on it (because it does) → Let go of the fantasy that they’ll change It’s not about co-parenting together. It’s about parenting separately while protecting yourself and your children from the chaos. Is it easy? No. Is it possible? Absolutely. Our Co-Parenting with a Narcissist guide gives you the step-by-step framework to make parallel parenting work—without losing your mind in the process. 🔗 Link in bio to get the roadmap you need. P.S. Save this post so you can come back to it when you need the reminder that you’re not failing—you’re adapting to an impossible situation. #coparenting #narcissisticabuse #coparentingwithanarcissist #parallelparenting #toxiccoparenting 🎥: kirbythecoparent

It’s heartbreaking to think that people can’t put their differences aside to do what is best for their children. It’s a constant battle. We need to normalise ‘parallel parenting’ more, not out of choice but sometimes it’s the only way forward. #narcissistic #narcissisticabuseawareness #coparenting

What is parallel parenting? ⁣ ⁣ When you co-parent with a narcissist, you realize very quickly that there is no coparenting happening. Nothing is together. ⁣ ⁣ Because when you’re coparenting, you are doing this with the same goals and values in mind when it comes to raising your kids. You and your coparent are walking a path together to get your kids to become well adjusted adults. ⁣ ⁣ But when you’re coparenting with a narcissist, you’re walking on your road to raise your kids and the narcissist is just dropping bombs on you along the way. ⁣ ⁣ 💣 They pick arguments about every tiny little thing like what your kids are wearing and how their hair is done. And they also start arguments about really big things like what school your kids should go to. ⁣ ⁣ 💣 They will not stick to any agreements that have been made along this road, whether they are verbal, in writing, or even in your custody order. ⁣ ⁣ 💣 They sabotage you every step of the way. ⁣ ⁣ ✅ So you choose parallel parenting! ⁣ ⁣ Parallel parenting means you walk your path of parenting, and you let the narcissist do their own thing on their own road parallel to you. ⁣ ⁣ Is this confusing for the kids? Yes! We will dive more into what this means for the kids in the next few videos. ⁣ ⁣ But this parallel parenting is what protects your peace and that of your kids. And at some point the kids will be grown up and can choose for themselves how they want to live and they will also look back on their childhood and realize who their stable parent was. ⁣ ⁣ I’ll share more insights and tips around parallel parenting with you this week. And if you need more help coparenting with a narcissist and with parallel parenting, I have an entire on-demand workshop available to help set you up with peace in your own home. Just comment “workshop” and I’ll send you the link! ⁣ ⁣ ‼️ Disclaimer: this is for educational purposes only. None of what I share is legal or therapeutic advice, and it does not represent personal matters.⁣

the thing about your opinion is that just like everything else you’ve contributed to this absolute mess, it’s unnecessary. #navigatingdivorce #HealingJourney #divorcejourney #divorcerecovery #parallelparenting

Parallel parenting is often recommended with a narcissist… But here’s the truth no one talks about: It can give them free rein to manipulate, alienate, and abuse—without oversight. When there’s no communication, no accountability, and no transparency, the narcissist can say whatever they want, do whatever they want, and slowly turn your child against you. Parallel parenting works only when the system is watching. Without documentation and boundaries? It’s not parenting—it’s unchecked damage. Be smart. Be strategic. Be one step ahead in your custody case. #DivorcingANarcissist #CustodyBattle #ParallelParenting #FamilyCourt #NarcissisticAbuse #ToxicCoParenting #HighConflictDivorce #CourtroomTactics #ParentalAlienation #SmearCampaign #ExposeTheNarcissist #LegalStrategy #ProtectYourKids #NoContact #ParentingAfterDivorce #WinningInCourt #ChildCustodyHelp #DivorceSupport #BreakTheCycle #DivorceCoach

people love to push co-parenting as the goal and yes—when it works, it’s good communication, teamwork, shared decisions, but that’s not the only way parallel parenting exists too— less contact, more boundaries, separate spaces and it can still be healthy, stable, and intentional. not every family dynamic is the same and not every situation needs the same level of access. it’s not about what sounds better it’s about what actually works #parallelparenting #coparent #validation