#Co Dependancy

This one's gonna trigger a lot of people 😱 Follow @nathaliachristensen for more! #codependency #codependent #datingadvice #relationships #datingcoach #toxicrelationships

Fix codependency using this 5-step method: If you feel irritated, guilty or have negative thoughts, answer these questions: 1) What upset me? Example: ”I’m upset that they don’t want to spend time with me.” 2) How did that make me feel? Example: “It makes me feel like I’m unimportant, like they secretly hate being around me.” 3) What do THEY need to feel seen and safe? What do I need to feel seen and safe? Example: “They need to be seen by their friends, and to feel that our relationship is safe” and “I need reassurance and quality time.” 4) Now share steps 1-3 with your partner. Example: "I felt upset and was passive-aggressive the other night when you hung out with your friends. I was worried that you might not enjoy spending time with me, but I understand that you need time with your friends too. I just need some reassurance from you sometimes, and I'd like to spend some quality time with you as well. Can we work on this together?" 5) Collaborate on strategies to be able to come toward each other with this information! #codependency #codependent #relationships #relationshipadvice #relationshiptips

IT’S NOT YOUR RESPONSIBILITY to manage the emotions of another adult. Codependence says : “I’m not okay if you’re not okay. So if you’re not okay, I need to fix it for both of us.” The other person’s distress feels like a threat to our own wellbeing and a threat to our connection with them —> so we take over Be supportive. Be kind. Be present. But allow them to rely on their own resilience and trust them to manage their own big feelings ❣️ #codependency #codependentnomore #secureattachment #boundariesarehealthy #emotionalregulation #emotionalresilience #interdependence #healthyrelationships

Today I hope you remember capacity with your loved ones 🍁 We are all operating from different lived experiences and capabilities and the holidays can bring up the most tender and sensitive parts of us. Which means we often see the worst in each other today… because we’re allllllll just trying to protect ourselves from past hurts that feel very much alive *right now*. I hope you go out into your day with loved ones, and family, remembering that many things are not personal, but to also take care of yourself and have *boundaries* to protect your peace instead of making yourself small. You can meet people where they are at without accepting disrespect. (Please go read my post on boundaries from this month to hear what that looks and sounds like, if you haven’t already! It’s over on my Codependency Alchemy Substack) I love you. I see you. My heart is with your heart. 🤲🏾✨ #codependency #relationships #anxiousattachment #womenempowerment

The most important things to know + practice if you’re healing from codependency patterns is: 1. Boundary setting (even when you feel guilty) 2. You aren’t responsible for other people’s emotions. Your role isn’t to manage other people’s issues. 3. Your needs matter: learn to understand them, meet them, + practice (when you’re ready) communicating them to the people you love #selfhealers

Is it my codependency that overwhelms my partners or… Listen to me on my new podcast, This Changes Everything. . . . #therapy #mentalhealth #mentalhealthmatters #therapist #relationshipgoals #therapytok #relationshiptips #dating #datingadvice #love #datingtips

Codependent people feel responsible for everyone's emotions because their brain learned to interpret other people's feelings as direct information about their own worth and safety. When someone appears upset, angry, or disappointed, your nervous system immediately treats it as evidence that you're failing at what feels like your most crucial job: keeping everyone emotionally stable. You monitor everyone's emotional state like a security guard watching surveillance cameras, and when someone seems off, your anxiety spikes as you start calculating what you did wrong and how you can restore their emotional equilibrium. Their feelings become your personal emergency that must be resolved immediately. The most disorienting aspect of codependency is the complete erosion of emotional boundaries between yourself and others. You literally cannot distinguish where your feelings end and theirs begin, creating a psychological fusion where their sadness becomes your sadness, their anger becomes your panic, and their disappointment becomes your shame. This emotional enmeshment means you're constantly flooded with feelings that don't actually belong to you, leaving you exhausted and confused about your own authentic emotional experience. If you grew up as the family's emotional regulator—managing a parent's moods or mediating conflicts—your brain learned that emotional caretaking equals love and that others' emotional states determine your safety. This childhood programming created a nervous system that can't relax unless everyone around you is happy, making adult relationships feel like constant emotional labor rather than mutual support. Learning that other people's emotions are information about their experience, not instructions for your behavior, is essential for reclaiming your emotional energy. You can care about someone's feelings without being responsible for managing them, and your emotional energy belongs to you first.

Drop a 💙 and please let me know in the comments how codependency shows up for you in relationships. @authormelodybeattie is an absolute genius and her book “Codependent No More” is a must read. 📘 I read her book in 1986 and heard the word “codependent” for the first time and it was an “aha” life changing moment. I’ve been reading this book every year for 30+ years and every time I get an even deeper understanding of where and how codependency causes suffering in my relationships. 🌺 I think it should be required reading in school. There is so much wisdom in this book and the truth is, once we understand how codependent we are in a relationship we actually begin to set ourselves free. Thank you Melody Beattie for this treasure. ✨

💥 Comment ‘library’ to watch the full episode CODEPENDENCY 101 It’s not your responsibility to manage the emotions, stressors, or behaviors of others — codependency says otherwise. Full breakdown in this week’s episode: - what codependency is - how to recognize it - how to heal it Available now inside @thethirdflr ❣️ #codependency #peoplepleaser #boundaries #selfawareness #selfdevelopment #relationshipadvice

Independent codependency

When a Hyper-Independent Person Chooses You. #podcast #ChosenLove #HyperIndependent #EmotionalSafety #HealthyLove

We end up co-dependent when we believed we had to work for or earn love by doing tasks / fixing problems as a child… and ONLY after we would recieve love or praise. • The belief of my problems aren’t important enough because I’m not important enough… so we learn to abandon ourselves and just focus on ‘helping’ other people… • Now that I have released this co-dependent lifestyle, I don’t push or force myself into other people problems, I wait for them to ask for help. I deal with my own problems head-on, because no one can fix them but me! • Learn all of this and more in my upcoming workshopppp! We start 7th March - get your ticket in my bio! • #codependencyrecovery #lifecoach #healingjourney #boundaries #selflovetips