#Codependency Help

IT’S NOT YOUR RESPONSIBILITY to manage the emotions of another adult. Codependence says : “I’m not okay if you’re not okay. So if you’re not okay, I need to fix it for both of us.” The other person’s distress feels like a threat to our own wellbeing and a threat to our connection with them —> so we take over Be supportive. Be kind. Be present. But allow them to rely on their own resilience and trust them to manage their own big feelings ❣️ #codependency #codependentnomore #secureattachment #boundariesarehealthy #emotionalregulation #emotionalresilience #interdependence #healthyrelationships

This one's gonna trigger a lot of people 😱 Follow @nathaliachristensen for more! #codependency #codependent #datingadvice #relationships #datingcoach #toxicrelationships

🚨This attachment style is more common than research actually suggests! It is also the least understood. I personally used to have this attachment style and therefore very much understand the overwhelming fears that it can bring. When I searched for help, I was not able to find a Coach or Therapist to support me through this. No one seemed to understand it! But with persistence, I figured it out and overcame it. I have since built true safety in my relationships, and am in the most beautiful, healthy, and exciting relationship, all thanks to this work. If you want to build safety in your relationships too, then join us for this free masterclass and I’ll show you how. ➡️ Comment the word “masterclass” and i’ll DM you the details

The most important things to know + practice if you’re healing from codependency patterns is: 1. Boundary setting (even when you feel guilty) 2. You aren’t responsible for other people’s emotions. Your role isn’t to manage other people’s issues. 3. Your needs matter: learn to understand them, meet them, + practice (when you’re ready) communicating them to the people you love #selfhealers

There is help. #highfunctioninganxiety #overwhelmed #peoplepleaser #adultchildrenofalcoholics #codependency #anxiousattachment #childhoodtrauma #help

Fix codependency using this 5-step method: If you feel irritated, guilty or have negative thoughts, answer these questions: 1) What upset me? Example: ”I’m upset that they don’t want to spend time with me.” 2) How did that make me feel? Example: “It makes me feel like I’m unimportant, like they secretly hate being around me.” 3) What do THEY need to feel seen and safe? What do I need to feel seen and safe? Example: “They need to be seen by their friends, and to feel that our relationship is safe” and “I need reassurance and quality time.” 4) Now share steps 1-3 with your partner. Example: "I felt upset and was passive-aggressive the other night when you hung out with your friends. I was worried that you might not enjoy spending time with me, but I understand that you need time with your friends too. I just need some reassurance from you sometimes, and I'd like to spend some quality time with you as well. Can we work on this together?" 5) Collaborate on strategies to be able to come toward each other with this information! #codependency #codependent #relationships #relationshipadvice #relationshiptips

At it’s core, Codependency stems from a lack of Self. And so it doesn’t matter actually how it manifests for you in behavior. The recovery is all linked to building a solid sense of and relationship to that capital “S” Self. So every time you listen to yourself and act on what you truly want, desire, feel, need - you’re telling that small muted and greyed out sense of self that you are there to listen, you are there to learn, that you trust you, and that you’ve got you. And every time you do that, that quiet voice gets louder. That connection gets stronger. That inner knowing - ie the relationship to that sense of Self - grows.

In codependency we have a taker (“I require someone else to meet my needs for me”) and a rescuer (“I don’t have my own needs, I need you to need me”) This dynamic reinforces the childhood wounds and limiting beliefs that set them up for the role: The taker keeps having someone take care of them, reinforcing that they don’t have the capacity to take care of themselves. The rescuer keeps giving and fixing, reinforcing the idea that their worth is in taking care of others and that they don’t have their own needs. The core work for the “rescuer” is to unstitch the beliefs they adopted in childhood that led them them to think: - I don’t need help, I am the help. - I’ll lose connection if I am ‘needy’. - My worth is found in fulfilling other’s needs. And to start reconnecting to their needs, so they can tend to their own internal world and bring balance and collaboration into the relationship where both parties are giving + receiving care. #codependency #attachment #love #somatichealing

As someone who has loved an addict, I swear by one rule: break the cycle of codependency. For years, I thought addiction was his problem. The drinking. The lies. The chaos. But the truth I had to face, often painfully is that addiction thrives in a family system. And I was part of that system. My constant monitoring, rescuing, and covering up felt like love, but it was also feeding the disease. It nearly broke me to realize that while I didn’t cause his drinking, I was still responsible for my part in the dynamic. I had to learn that my job wasn’t to fix him it was to take responsibility for myself. To choose boundaries over control. To choose peace over chaos. To stop cosigning the addiction with my silence. This was the hardest truth to accept: love does not mean losing yourself to someone else’s disease. Real love, the kind that heals and begins with reclaiming yourself. If you’re here too, carrying more than your share, let this be your reminder: you cannot love someone out of an addiction they don’t want to leave. But you can love yourself enough to break free from the cycle. 💬 Comment HOPE25 to join our membership. This is where we do the work together. Finally naming the patterns, breaking the cycles, and finally finding peace.

Some of us are naturally inclined to jump into others’ situations and relationships and try to “help” them, when in reality… we just have a really hard time sitting with the emotions WE feel when others’ struggle or are in pain. Remember that pain is actually a great teacher, sometimes a necessary one. If we “rescue” people from the natural consequences of their choices, they may never grow. #dramatriangle #codependency #codependentnomore

6 minute awakening lesson on codependency….save video for the next time you feel stuck in this disempowering relational pattern. You can break it… I promise 👑💪🏼

10 signs you were raised by a toxic parent. #signsofatoxicparent #narcissisticfather #toxicmother #toxicparents #emotionallyimmatureparents