#Codependent

At it’s core, Codependency stems from a lack of Self. And so it doesn’t matter actually how it manifests for you in behavior. The recovery is all linked to building a solid sense of and relationship to that capital “S” Self. So every time you listen to yourself and act on what you truly want, desire, feel, need - you’re telling that small muted and greyed out sense of self that you are there to listen, you are there to learn, that you trust you, and that you’ve got you. And every time you do that, that quiet voice gets louder. That connection gets stronger. That inner knowing - ie the relationship to that sense of Self - grows.

The less often talked about part of codependency is how it’s a desire to control other people’s outcomes. So let’s talk about it. Tune into my newest podcast episode to learn more → terricole.com/644 (link in bio) Tell me below: is this a new way of thinking about codependency for you? Can you recognize codependent behaviors as an overt or covert bid for control? #highfunctioningcodependency #codependent #codependency #codependencyrecovery #codependentnomore

Before jumping in and saying, “helping others is ALWAYS the right thing to do” I really encourage you to have an honest look at where that statement is coming from in you. Is it coming from a wound where you felt you needed help from someone else but were abandoned, and instead of feeling the pain of that, you’ve built a moral stance against anything that might look like abandonment? Is it coming from a caretaker part of you that has learned you only have value if you are of value to someone else? And there’s a deep fear around who you are if you’re not taking care of others? If this post activates you, first feel the anger, then drop a layer beneath it into the sadness (and there WILL be sadness if you drop deep enough). And THEN have a conversation with yourself about what that sadness is connected to. That’s where healing will happen. And from that healing you’ll be better equipped to hold the nuances of this message. This post is NOT suggesting to just abandon people when it gets hard. And it’s not designed for us to use “Tough Love” as an egoic/moralistic stance against not wanting to help others or avoiding the pain of our own feeling of helplessness. It’s about looking at a situation for what it actually is, having an honest assessment with yourself about any codependency that may be at place, and then using your own deep heart discernment around what is ACTUALLY in service to this other person. And remember, this video says *sometimes* the most compassionate thing to do is let another person struggle. It is NOT saying that this is ALWAYS the right thing to do. You need to use your own judgment based on the context, your needs, your boundaries, and the person. And yes, it’s hard as hell. Feel free to share your thoughts below ❤️

Are we ever apart? No. Turns out this is very lesbian according to y’all 😂 @hashtag_blehssed #wlwofinstagram #loveislove #lesbianlove #gaymoms #codependent

‼️ How to NOT be codependent… #codependency #healthyrelationships #personaldevelopment #lifeskill #codependentnomore #codependent #onsite #onsiteworkshops #healthymarriage #healthyliving #healthymarriages #marriageadvice #relationshipadvice #relationshipadviceforwomen #relationshipadviceformen #datingtips #dating #datingover40 #relationship @onsiteworkshops

If you are stuck in a codependent relationship, this may help you. 🙏🏼

My approach and the words I use are not for everyone. I don’t love soft and fluffy. I like clear and blunt language. Blame it on being from the Northeast. Blame it on the ADHD. Regardless, this is helpful for me to check myself on my recovery journey. And for me it’s not without compassion. I don’t blame myself for where it’s coming from. For the fear of abandonment that fuels the behavior. But we have to be honest about the shadow side of codependency to truly do the recovery work. Imo 😬🤷🏼‍♀️ . . . . . . . . . . #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthadvocate #interdependence #anxiety #codependencynomore #codependency #instaquote #empowerment #empowermentquotes #boundaries #recovery #healing #healingchildhood #emotionalintelligence #healyourself #emotions #emotionsmatter #selfhealer #selfhealers #selfhealing #selfhealingjourney #selfheal #senseofself #codependent #recoveringcodependent #selflove #selfexpression #innergrowth #selfdiscovery

The RELATIONSHIP between codependents and narcissists! ⚠️⁣⁣ ⁣⁣ ✅ Follow @julienhimself for more.⁣⁣ ⁣⁣ ⁣⁣ ⁣⁣ ⁣⁣ #julienblanc #julienhimself #relationship #relationships #relationshipproblems #toxicrelationships #codependency #codependencyrecovery #codependent #narcissism #narcissist #relationshipgoals #relationshiptips #relationshipadvice

A new episode with the Mystical Matchmaker💗 is FINALLY here!🎉 link in bio. 💗 My Guest: @themysticalmatchmaker #dating #codependent #matchmaker #relationships #dumphim #podcast

After WEEKS of working, thinking, pondering, praying, and trying to come up with the perfect word that embodies the opposite of codependent, God finally enlightened my mind and told me what it should be: codafree. Codafree means freedom from codependency. It means you aren’t a prisoner of someone else’s choices. It means you don’t have to wait till your loved one is “better,” is living in recovery, is making better choices. It means even if people around you (or circumstances out of your control) are chaotic, you don’t have to be trapped in that chaos. Being codafree means you choose happiness, joy and freedom all on your own. I’m so excited to show you everything I’ve learned in more than a decade of this self-development work and give you the roadmap to being codafree. Because there really, truly is a better way to live than codependency 🙌

The mantras of high-functioning codependents (HFCs) are: “I got it, I’m good” and, “It has to be me.” It’s feeling like, “if it’s going to get done and get done right, it has to be me.” When you’re highly capable, as HFCs are, you do ‘got it.’ But just because you can doesn’t mean you should. Or that you should do it alone. “I got it” behavior comes at a real cost. As my mother Janny Cole would say, offers to help dry up when we never receive them. This leads to resentment and burnout because the amount we’re doing is unsustainable, and it’s why my latest podcast is all about hyper-independence. The more aware we are of these behaviors, the easier it is to change them! Check it out on YouTube, wherever you listen to podcasts, or comment TTCS to get the link to the podcast sent directly to you 🙌 #hyperindependence #boundaries #settingboundaries #highfunctioningcodependency #codependent #codependency #codependencyrecovery #codependentnomore #toomuchbook #hfcrecovery #hfcbook

Do you relate? @lauraclery @realmelindahill #codependent #codependency #comedy #standup #comedian