#Overcoming Codependency

At it’s core, Codependency stems from a lack of Self. And so it doesn’t matter actually how it manifests for you in behavior. The recovery is all linked to building a solid sense of and relationship to that capital “S” Self. So every time you listen to yourself and act on what you truly want, desire, feel, need - you’re telling that small muted and greyed out sense of self that you are there to listen, you are there to learn, that you trust you, and that you’ve got you. And every time you do that, that quiet voice gets louder. That connection gets stronger. That inner knowing - ie the relationship to that sense of Self - grows.

This one's gonna trigger a lot of people 😱 Follow @nathaliachristensen for more! #codependency #codependent #datingadvice #relationships #datingcoach #toxicrelationships

Fix codependency using this 5-step method: If you feel irritated, guilty or have negative thoughts, answer these questions: 1) What upset me? Example: ”I’m upset that they don’t want to spend time with me.” 2) How did that make me feel? Example: “It makes me feel like I’m unimportant, like they secretly hate being around me.” 3) What do THEY need to feel seen and safe? What do I need to feel seen and safe? Example: “They need to be seen by their friends, and to feel that our relationship is safe” and “I need reassurance and quality time.” 4) Now share steps 1-3 with your partner. Example: "I felt upset and was passive-aggressive the other night when you hung out with your friends. I was worried that you might not enjoy spending time with me, but I understand that you need time with your friends too. I just need some reassurance from you sometimes, and I'd like to spend some quality time with you as well. Can we work on this together?" 5) Collaborate on strategies to be able to come toward each other with this information! #codependency #codependent #relationships #relationshipadvice #relationshiptips

THE CAGE OF CODEPENDENCY (and how to get out!) #Manifestation #LawOfAttraction #Magic thank you Salata for inspiring this video! ❤️ u Sheri!

IT’S NOT YOUR RESPONSIBILITY to manage the emotions of another adult. Codependence says : “I’m not okay if you’re not okay. So if you’re not okay, I need to fix it for both of us.” The other person’s distress feels like a threat to our own wellbeing and a threat to our connection with them —> so we take over Be supportive. Be kind. Be present. But allow them to rely on their own resilience and trust them to manage their own big feelings ❣️ #codependency #codependentnomore #secureattachment #boundariesarehealthy #emotionalregulation #emotionalresilience #interdependence #healthyrelationships

My approach and the words I use are not for everyone. I don’t love soft and fluffy. I like clear and blunt language. Blame it on being from the Northeast. Blame it on the ADHD. Regardless, this is helpful for me to check myself on my recovery journey. And for me it’s not without compassion. I don’t blame myself for where it’s coming from. For the fear of abandonment that fuels the behavior. But we have to be honest about the shadow side of codependency to truly do the recovery work. Imo 😬🤷🏼‍♀️ . . . . . . . . . . #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthadvocate #interdependence #anxiety #codependencynomore #codependency #instaquote #empowerment #empowermentquotes #boundaries #recovery #healing #healingchildhood #emotionalintelligence #healyourself #emotions #emotionsmatter #selfhealer #selfhealers #selfhealing #selfhealingjourney #selfheal #senseofself #codependent #recoveringcodependent #selflove #selfexpression #innergrowth #selfdiscovery

My favorite lessons come from butterflies. In today’s newsletter, I wrote about healing our tendency toward codependency while still remembering the incredible interconnectedness of us all.

The most important things to know + practice if you’re healing from codependency patterns is: 1. Boundary setting (even when you feel guilty) 2. You aren’t responsible for other people’s emotions. Your role isn’t to manage other people’s issues. 3. Your needs matter: learn to understand them, meet them, + practice (when you’re ready) communicating them to the people you love #selfhealers

Codependency is a trauma response that CAN be re-wired. It just so happens that Empaths are more prone to it… If you’re ready to apply the tools to re-wire it… 👉🏼then comment the word “READY” and I’ll show you how ❤️

We commit to make Interdependency SAFE🫶🏽

If you’re stuck in researching, understanding and analysing… Then I encourage you to ask yourself if you are in subconscious avoidance of taking action on these patterns, either by avoiding seeking the right support, or by avoiding doing the work… Staying in “understanding” feels SAFER for codependents. But it doesn’t help you move forwards, even if your brain tries to convince you that it will… If you’re ready to face the real work, then comment “HEAL” and I’ll guide you through it ❤️

More in the caption 👇 Avoidance feels safe in the moment. But in the long run, it costs you the very thing you’re craving. If you grew up learning that vulnerability was risk, or if you’ve been in relationships where being open backfired… Then silence can feel like self-protection. But here’s what no one tells you: - Avoidance doesn’t protect your relationship, it weakens it. - Unspoken needs don’t disappear, they just turn into resentment. - The fear of being “too much” often comes from never having been fully seen. Secure connection is built through hard conversations. Through honest check-ins. Through saying the thing, even when your voice shakes. The more you hide, the less loved you’ll feel, because they’re not connecting with you, they’re connecting with a filtered version. This is your sign to choose connection over avoidance. Especially when it’s scary. #avoidantattachment #relationshipcommunication #emotionalintimacy #relationshipgrowth #healingattachment #vulnerabilityiskey #honestrelationships #conflictrepair #secureconnection #relationshipcoach #relationships #relationshipgoals #couple #couplegoals❤️